Geraldine Hamburger Industries is because we need levity, merriment, and recreation in every day life, taking it back to simpler, more fun times. Remember when poking people in the eyes was the epitome of hilarity? Well, maybe not taking it that far back.

We’re thinking more like laughing when someone falls on ice — bambi legs everywhere! — but is not seriously hurt. And being serious about not being serious. 

Does it make sense? Not a whole lot. But there is science behind this here rhetoric of joy. We, in the royal sense, are lacking in merriment. But also, what keeps us alive most, prevents wrinkles and pinched faces, and makes your bank account grow like it’s been exposed to radiation?

 Corruption?! Maybe. But think more ethically. Merriment? Yes! It’s science.

Don’t believe us? Let’s fight.